I have been trying hard to get my shit together. After two weekends of drinking so much I was fuzzy for days afterwards, I was very good this last weekend. I (only) had two bottles of wine and a few beers and a half a pint. Sounds like a lot, right? For me, that's like 24 hours worth of alcohol. I feel smarter and healthier already.
I went to a birthday party on Saturday for a girl who ignored my birthday invite last year via both text and FB invite. As soon as she got a boyfriend, she dumped me. Surprise, surprise she reaches out to me. Guess who got dumped? Yep, sucks for her. She moved in with this dude and he moved out, leaving her with the rent.
I went and brought her a card and she proceeded to treat me like shit while I was there. I made a silly joke (Frangelico bottle reminds me of Mrs. Butterworth) and she sneered at me that I was dumb and made fun of me to her friends. Mocked me and even they looked at her like WTF bitch? It was obviously a joke. I changed the subject and she brought it up again when no one was agreeing with her. She is such a fucking cunt. Like I was there alone and she tried to get all of her friends to make fun of me and was laughing in my face and telling everyone how dumb I am. Her friends weren't biting. So I left and deleted her from FB and my phone and am done with her.
Sunday, I went out with my friend from back home in EP who moved out here after me and has been here since. We went to BK and drinks and trivia and he told me how awesome I am and how he wants to hang out with me more and wants me to meet and be friends with his boyfriend. I went from feeling like shit to feeling wonderful. I am not a shitty person.
My coworker totally ditched me as a friend once this other chick started working her last year. He's gay so it's not an attraction thing, but it sucks when I now have no friends at work. But knowing that I have friends outside of here makes me feel so much better.
I have been working out again. Six days straight so far.
I hit a high of 183 on Sunday (not my highest ever--that was 191. But highest in like a year). I am at 180 today.
I am looking for a new job because there is no future for me here. I have no benefits (health insurance, 401k) and I don't make enough. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
9:57 a.m. - 2015-08-19
Recent entries:
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Still alive - 2016-02-14
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