Hello again. Sigh, it's been yet another long weekend. Drank too much again but not as much as last week. Last week on Thursday I was shaking and could barely walk the next morning. My body, finally going through physical withdrawal. I actually had to drink so I was OK. I was terrified.
This weekend, I didn;t drink as much but still more than I;d like. I was too tired and ill feeling to go to work on Monday. Actually I could have gone to work, but I was still pissed that my boss refused to give me the 2nd off even though he gave 3/6 employees the 6th and 7th off plus HE took time off and extended his vacation. But I asked for the 2nd off, a day that no one took off except for him and he refused. He expected me here for no reason and they left me to pick up the slack while he was out.
I actually asked him for the day off twice and he never responded so I asked him in person. Mentioning that I wanted to see what days I could have off. He raised his voice at me and said to just ask what days I wanted. How dare he get mad at me? How dare he make me cover his ass. He also put me in charge of hiring someone, but he won't respond to any of my emails re: how much to pay the person or getting references from someone who had blown us off earlier. Like, fuck you dude.
Anyway, I am tired of this job and the debt I'm in and being single. And I actually don't even want to drink anymore. I just feel so alone and bored and confused. But I think my desire to be thin, plus my desire to save some brain cells will be enough for me to stop. I don't want to be found dead in a gutter somewhere or even in my bed. I wrote a will because I was so afraid. I am tired of hating myself and my life anymore so it's time to make some major changes.
11:45 a.m. - 2015-07-07
Recent entries:
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Still alive - 2016-02-14
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