I often take the dreams that I have very seriously. I believe in chanting to increase awareness and believe that dreams can be a conduit for the truth. I had a dream--the last one I had before waking--that all my coworkers hated me. It involved being in a big house and having them all one by one, leave me and flock to each other. The first was the coworker i like. They all ended up in a room watching a fun little slide show and I asked what it was and they ignored me. I let in a fit and they stared at me. I took back my cigarettes and smoked in a fury outside. It was my birthday for some reason. And then I was looking for the perfect hat. What the fuck? LOL
The main thing I got was that they all hated me and it was better for me to find strength within myself (and that perhaps I should wear hats).
Then I awoke and was reading BB and this girl was sad because her fiance was letting other chicks flirt with him and saying it was cool. It made me feel bad because that is what my coworker is doing. Letting me flirt with him and saying he doesn't mind. That is not right.
I am now 164 after a week straight of no lunch and plenty of alcohol. I will need to stop drinking after the weekend so I can lose weight again. My mom is coming June 11. I'd like to be 155 by then.
7:27 a.m. - 2010-05-28
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