So fuck buddy dude isn't coming this weekend because he has work to do. yeah fucking right, whatever. He is just butt hurt that I'm not up his ass anymore. I told him "cool have a nice summer." I am not even interested in him anymore because of how he has acted like an ass after pursuing me when I didn't even care about him at all.
I am pissed because I cleaned and starved myself to lose like 15 pounds form the last time I saw him. I am down to 165 today. i know I'll be up tomorrow because I am dehydrated from all the caffeine but still baby steps.
Then of course the guy I like at work has a girlfriend and has no interest in me which is actually fine. The less I eat the less interest I have in people being around me plus I am fat and gross so who woudl want me anyway. That being said He e-mailed me 19 times yesterday and 31 times today which makes me wonder how we get any work done at all. But I have been more productive than ever since I am not surfing the web. It works out to like an email every 15 minutes. Less actually because we take our smoke breaks together. Yes I am obsessed with numbers and juvenile things.
Haha we are also buying our own shared pack of cigarettes to keep in the office which is ridiculous. I have no idea why he thought that would be a good idea but whatever.
I cannot wait until I find a guy who isn't an ass and doesn't have a girlfriend and doesn' think I am an ugly piece of shit. Honestly at this point all I am looking for is a rich dude to buy me things while I turn a blind eye to his cheating and apathy towards me. i deserve nothing better but I do need money for b/ps, alcohol, drugs and plastic surgery. How I want breast implants and lipo.
I am now debating whether to go to the valley with my best friend or stay home alone and drink and probably b/p maybe on yummy Italian food or Chinese since I get paid tomorrow.
715 cals today and I feel like puking. Too many cigarettes but I forgot how they keep me form eating so for now it's good until I find a new crush and don't feel the need to focus on this kid anymore.
7:53 p.m. - 2010-05-13
Recent entries:
- - 2016-03-14
Still alive - 2016-02-14
- - 2015-11-05
- - 2015-10-02
- - 2015-09-09
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
julymalaise
usb-port
alethia
englishsucks
lisasays
moodswing
fat0free0air
cloudy-night
atwowaydream
silver4
enurta
soon
warpednormal
ecstasia
limes-sugar
hungry-hippo