He called me last night to tell me his aunt died. He had gone to visit her last weekend. He said he called since I had asked about her...well yes I did ask but it isn't necessary to give me updates. I am not your family, I am barely your friend at this point. I am just a girl set adrift through life.
When he picked me up for work yesterday he mentioned that he "keeps his promises most of the time." And gave me a look like I should interpret that accordingly. I assume he meant that he made a promise to his wife and he plans to keep it, (he only broke it in a fit of self-induced weakness after months of careful planning and rigorous pursuit.) I just looked at him. I told him about the dream of breaking into a stranger�s house and being forced to flee after an evening of fun. Real dream, actually, with a nice n' easy interpretation.
I wish they would leave me alone so that I can self-destruct. I drink and smoke and eat bad things and starve and cut on occasion. I binge and/or purge on a good day I do both. I don�t know if I will live another 30 days. Due to poor health or poor reasons for continuing. There is a reason I am perpetually single, depressed and lacking in control�I was never meant to be here to begin.
7:32 a.m. - 2006-03-22
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