I fucked that dude with the 3 kids last night. I actually had forgotten what he looked like. He is fucking fine dude. He works out and everything. I must say that as much as I like having an orgasm, I hate having sex cause it doesnt do it for me and it kind of hurts cause I havent done it that much. Oh well. I kept thinking about how fat I am. He kept saying that I have a beautiful body; I wanted to stab him. My body is disgusting and the more people tell me it isnt, the more I want to lose to prove that it is. I wonder if I'll ever see him again. I doubt it, most guys don't like me. He got what he wanted and I guess I got what I wanted. I don't want a boyfriend I just want guys to like me and think I'm beautiful. Even if I don't agree with them.
Still fat of course. I am out of carb pills. I need to start restricting again.
3:29 p.m. - 2004-09-19
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