Hmm, I cut myself last night. First time in ages. Then I poured Vodka on my wounds. The blood was lovely.
I cried all night, but now I feel better. I know now why cutting is so hard to stop; I lost sight of the emotional pain and just fell into the physical.
I drank alone once again. I hadn't drank since saturday though and that was at a party. I havent had a cigarette since Saturda either.
My best friend ditched me once again. She said she'd call me back after 9 pm so she wouldnt waste her minutes but she never did. I knoe because I dialed *69 since I had purposely been online all night. Fuck her.
As long as I have a harmful vice I will be fine. Which is worse, bulimia or cutting? The battle between internal and external scars rages on.
7:22 a.m. - 2004-08-12
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