I desperately need help; I don't know what to do. I am moving to San Antonio and I am moving in with my best friend. However, her ex-convict, former crack head boyfriend has lost his job and is moving in to the house she lives in for "just a month." Yeah fucking right.
I don't want to live with him; I don't want to have to support him and his loser friends. I am seriously considering telling her I'm going to get my own place. It's ridiculous. I shouldn't have to put up with this. I didn't sign on for this.
Apparenlty I am supposed to just roll over and take it. Either way I lose. Either I put up with his and her bullshit, or I piss her off by living on my own.
I hate always knowing that I will lose any confrontation. I'm not Number one in anyone's life. Even my mother hung up with me in mid sentence to talk to my brother. My dad chose his whore and her kids over me. My "best friend" choses whatever guy she is fucking or trying to fuck, over me. My single friends chose their roommates...I end up alone. I should just suck it up. I will just keep to myself; door closed, eyes filled with tears. Voice soften by insecurities. I have to pretend like I think it's grand...I will never win at anything. I will always end up alone.
9:49 p.m. - 2004-08-11
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