At work. Pissed as usual. I am trying desperately to control my eating, yet it seems impossible. every meal is liek my last. I gorge. I can't stop even when it hurts to swallow one more bite. I can't stand a second of hunger. Insatiable.
My only hope is exercise. I have to burn off all this excess weight. The thousands of calories and shove into my mouth on a daily basis. I wish I knew the meaning, the feeling, the power of self control.
I also need to stop drinking everyday. Its getting to close to a crutch and I have more than enough of those. The smoking has gotten better. Plus less drinking will equal less weight anyway. Getting me ever closer to that elusive 125.
5:25 p.m. - 2004-03-29
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