I've never wanted to die as much as I want to die right now. I have failed at everything and no one is here to help me. The so-called friends that I care about so much, are too busy going out to drink and dance. Too busy to talk to me for more than 2 minutes. I don't ask for much. What does it matter anymore. I am not needed here. All I do is let everyone down. I wish I wasnt so much of a coward. I wish I would just do it. This weekend everyone is going out of town for July 4th. Perhaps then would be the time. I can leave the check for this month's rent and then vanish without a trace. Anything would be better than this. Unemployed, flat broke, friendless and far from home. fat and unhappy. a failure at life and a waste of space. I've bought some pills just in case. Probably not enough to kill me but enough to get a running start. I feel better all ready. A little calmer a little more prepared to face the next 3 days. Just when i thought it couldnt get any worse: my mom just told me to apply for unemplyment and food stamps. Recent colleg graduate. Good GPA from a good school. Now living on food stamps after just 6 weeks. God I love my fucking life. I am the most patheitc waste of space that was every mistakenly born.
9:01 p.m. - 2003-07-01
Recent entries:
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Still alive - 2016-02-14
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