My life is in an odd state right now. I feel pressure form all sides. A lot of hurt and anger and dispair. I need to call the ED clinic again tomorrow. I don't even know if I have the number. I have been drinking alone again. What does it matter, there is little to which I look forward. Days fade into nights and bleak days awaken me.
In other news I am still fat, but I am eating less than before so thats good. I need to eat as little as possible.
I am truning over a new leaf. A tiny one yes; just one to control my eating and focus on finding a job. The feelings and the sadness will take so much more work, for now I want to be thing and employed. The deepeness of my emations is too much for wanyone to handle. Some people seem to think it's a breeze, that all I do is hurt other people. The person who is always hurt the most is me.
10:03 p.m. - 2003-06-30
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