Stop the presses I have some shocking news...
I actually woke up feeling happy this morning. There si a little smile tugging at my lips. Why? I don't know. I had fun last night with people I haven't seen in ages and peopel I know like me for me. That always makes me feel better. Its odd that I would crave spending so much time with the same peopel when I usually end up getting sad. I think tis the comfprt thing. They are used to the sadness so they don't try to make me cheer up anymore and I don't try to be happy in order to keep up appearances. I love those friends to death, but I know I must wear on their nerves. One of my former roommates who si now my friend is moving to Westchester and getting a house with her boyfriend. I'm sad but she will be happy and we can party up there and stuff.
On another note, I fucking love tequila.
It's that girl's birthday today. My friend's summer roommate, the one I feel quite jealous of. Quite frankly I don't even care anymore. They will have tons of fun today without me and I odn't care. I have no money so I'm not going to her shin-dig. Doubt she'll give a fuck or will anyone else. Its too much to try to compete with someone who most likely doesn't even know there is a competition. Eh, it's just more evidence of my insanity.
I hope this break I am taking form my usual group of friends gives me some perspective. Each day it gets easier actually. I have been invited to go out dancing tonight by the girl who is staying wiht me. She broke one of my shot glasses this morning. Sucks but it really doesn't belong on the bathroom sink now does it? I can't even remember why I but it there. I was drinking in the bathtub last night (I was in a rush, needed to get uptown) but I wasn't taking shots.
I need money dammit. The temp agencies havent called. No one has called. Nothing I tell you. Grrrrr. I may have to seriously consider becoming an escort or a dominatrix. oh Craig's List, you intrigue me more everyday.
[Nice to hear form you Morbid Hippie. I'm just glad that you are still around. I thought you were mad at me! Writing in our diaries can be very cathartic. I hope it is helping for you. Take Care!] Later. Just found out that the new girl is having her birthday dinner at the same place I had mine, Sushi Samba. Which happens (or happened now that I don't eat seafood anymore) to be my very favorite restaurant. For the love of God can this girl do nothing original? Thank God i won;t be there cause I would punch her right in the face. Bleh.
2:14 p.m. - 2003-06-21
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