I have missed updating so much! I stopped for a long time because my entries were being indexed by Google. Even after I put in the no-index code. So I will wait and see whether it happens again.
So much has happened.
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in November. She had surgery and finished her radiation treatment. Now she has five years of hormone therapy to look forward to.
I still work at the same place. I am itching to get out and spread my wings. Maybe in January, after my three years anniversary.
After 3.5 years of no sex, I have been hooking up all over the place. I thought I caught something, even though I am insanely careful. It was just a God-awful yeast infection. Even the doctor was surprised by how bad it was.
I am tired of being single. I want to find someone to actually date, not just hook up with.
My friends at work no longer talk to me or like me I guess. Maybe it's because I am in a position of authority here kind of. Well definitely. I am technically in charge of all of them. It's weird. Or they think I suck. It makes me sad when they all hang out together and leave me alone and talk about the fun they have. I do have friends in real life. But barely it seems. I miss my online friends too. It's hard when I don't talk to you guys every often. But I like you all!
I was online at myproana.com for a few months. I got in deep and m y eating disorder got worse. I am trying to gain balance again and not hate myself too much. I do hate that I am so much fatter than I was when I was in high school and college. Being single and lonely makes me hate myself more. I cut myself a few weeks back. Not too deep, just enough to draw some blood so that I could stare at it. Sometimes that's all I need.
I'm mad because I can't drink because of the meds I am on for the yeast infection. This is the longest I;ve gone since Lent when I made it 10 days a few times I think.
3:25 p.m. - 2015-06-08
Recent entries:
- - 2016-03-14
Still alive - 2016-02-14
- - 2015-11-05
- - 2015-10-02
- - 2015-09-09
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