I miss updating so much. I think I am just going to delete more of my older entries and hope for the best.
My stupid coworker who used to be someone I considered a friend immediately dropped me once he moved into another room and sat next to someone he finds "more fun" I suppose. It hurt but I am getting over it. I spent so much time trying to help him out of the closet and other niceties. He ignores me and I need a friend at work. I have no one. It sucks sometimes. I feel like I am being replaced throughout the company. Though my work has been improving actually. And I must say my mood has been better in general. I'm not taking shit but I'm not getting pissed or hurt. Just firm about my needs and desires. Speaking of which...
Today, I needed him to fix my computer which was completely borked. The WiFi was one of the many things broken and I stated that my phone was able to get internet (it is obviously connected to the WiFi, he set it up). He snidely said to me (in front of other people), that a phone and a computer are not the same thing. I immediately said it was Friday and I did not have time to deal with his attitude. He said he was kidding and I said I did not have time for it. Shut that shit down immediately. I will not be disrespected by a subordinate in front of other people. Fucking rude as hell. I am not fucking stupid, you dumb cunt. I am a fucking Mensa member and don't give a fuck about your inferiority complex as it relates to me. Fuck off and suck it.
I also finally gave up on the dude I liked at work. This was a while back. His refusal to even hang out with me as a friend, while he happily hung out with everyone else in the office was a big clue. That and the girl I told (the one replacing me as my other coworkers BFF),and she made it her goal to hang out with him as much as possible and try to rub it in my face. They went out for drinks and afterwards she told me that a nice Mid-Western guy like him would never go out with someone like me (a crazy person? A Black chick? A coworker?) who knows. I have no idea if he told her that or she was interpreting his actions.
I had terrible Tinder sex a month ago. I immediately blocked the dude's number, ugh. He used OKCupid and messaged me "let's fuck again." First of all, how did he find me? Second of all, take a hint motherfucker. I also had a terrible Tinder date that was with a guy I am sure was closeted. He was also bitterly divorced and kind of a moron. We went out and we drank equal amounts and he said I drank too much. Left me a note (like a SATC Berger post-it) saying I was too drunk to do anything and I should "drink less.") I drank that much because he was gross and I wasn't having fun. But either way I sent him a text saying he was rude and blocked his number.
Now I have taken the last month off from dating. We'll see what April brings.
I have also been working hard to get as many part-time/freelance jobs as possible because I am broke as hell. Well not exactly, I just want to pay off these loans ASAP. I work hard and want to enjoy myself.
I am working out everyday, not binging or purging, not starving or cutting or anything bad. Not drinking too much. My obsessions are now making money, working out and watching Columbo.
9:21 a.m. - 2015-03-27
Recent entries:
- - 2016-03-14
Still alive - 2016-02-14
- - 2015-11-05
- - 2015-10-02
- - 2015-09-09
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