I went out and I feel good, Well better. Being with a good friend, a real friend who cares about me, worries about me and does not want to drown me in booze or fill me with weed smoke. Nice. I had one drink, didn't even suck it dry. And talked and laughed and felt normal.
Tomorrow...well in 8 hour I will be on a plane to PR by myself. My friend actually said she had done it. They both said they actually would have come with me. Even with just a week's notice. Wow but it's a 2 day trip so that would have been pointless especially since they work and would have to leave on Sunday so no but the sentiment was nice.
I will be alone in PR and I don't really know Spanish and I think my hotel is far from everything (it was cheap) but it will be beautiful I guess and I need to rest. I need to recharge. Reboot. Like a raygirl computer,
I am sad that I know that at least 2 people if not more are actively wishing that bad things happen to me and that's probably why they are. My roommate laughs st my misfortune and rubs it in my face and calls me cursed. B wishes I have a terrible life from now on. And things have been bad but I do hope they improve. I realize that my priorities have changed. I want love. I want kids. I don't want to spend my life and braincells getting fucked up all the time. I want to be smart and successful. I spent so much time just sitting in B's apartment smoking weed and drinking and passing out at 10 PM. Watching TV. Wasted life. No more.
11:21 p.m. - 2011-12-09
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