I felt myself struggling all week because of how hard this move will be and how little help I have. None actually. I kind of was moping and didn't clean and then didn't even workout twice on Friday and then I b/ped and I drank so much on Saturday and didn't workout at all...I felt that failure was coming. I started out today binging and sleeping and being gross. But I turned it around. i cleaned some dishes and my kitchen some. I vacuumed a bit. Started laundry and just worked out. I am going to shower and salvage the day. I will shred some papers and throw out stuff I don't need. I think the key to this move is downsizing as much as possible to make things easier for myself.
Now that I have showered and shaved my legs I feel a million times better. Sometimes taking care of yourself and being clean is all you need to fix a bad day. I also realize that I have been drinking during the week again, which is a big no-no. Makes me fatter, lazier and prone to b/p. In general alcohol and me do not mix but I love it so.
I contacted Omar again because I have been feeling horny and I'd like some sex before I leave since I don't want to ho-out as soon as I get back to NYC. Plus I should enjoy living by myself for as long as I can. I am getting kind of bored by it. I want to change my life. I spend too much time sitting at home, watching the world pass me by. Not that I mind but I think I should.
I am stronger than I have ever been. I can do this.
7:18 p.m. - 2011-07-24
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