I remember I used to spend my weekends drinking myself to sleep. I'd drink, pass out, drink, pass out, repeat infinitum.
Now I am moving away form that. I still drink but I watch DVDs, exercise, relax, sleep like a normal person. I woke up at 4 AM like I aways do for LAw and Order (purely natural by now, my body is trained) and it wasn't on! Booo. They didn't start until 5 and it was the terrible Julia Roberts episode. I ended up falling back asleep and missed some of them.
I ate because I was hungry, drank some wine and went back to sleep. i then woek up at 8, no more dirnking. Instead I watched some TV and relaxed. It is now 10 and I showered and am going to work for an hour to finish a project (my choice), and then to the gym, then to redbox (I finally used one and am OBSESSED! I saw Inception last night, so good) and then to the gas station for some beer (small amount, do not want to get wasted) and then home. I will watch a DVD or two and relax until SNL.
Tomorrow no drinking, maybe the gym again, cleaning and laundry for sure, need to start tossing out stuff in anticipation of my move.
I used to spend my weekends in the dark, with the blinds pulled closed and surrounded by empty wine bottles and food wrappers. I need to enjoy my positive mood for as long as I can. I know it can get bad again so I need to live now. I do know that school made those depressions less powerful. I had to do homework and I needed light and some kind of sobriety to do it. Now that school is over for the summer, I need to find something else to do. Fitness does help. i can't be drunk and workout, though tipsy yoga is fun!
10:19 a.m. - 2011-05-14
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