As bad as it is right now, I think back to a time when it was much much worse. (long story follows)
I was working at a local nonprofit and had become friends with this chick who started when I did. We began hanging out and she introduced me to a friend of her "boy friend". We hooked up in the garage of their house! Ugh I was such a whore. We actually hung out after that having a lot of sex and generally bumming around. He wasn't my boyfriend but as far as I knew he was only fucking me. Fast forward many weeks and we stop by their house and his asshole roommate (he had like 3 roommates) is laughing and pointing at me. We walk into the living room and there he is with another chick who he'd been apparently fucking for a while. I look like a complete asshole loser. Later he knocks her up and they get married. But sometime between the knocking up and the marriage he finds me again and we star hooking up again. So I get to be the other woman for the very first time. That ended when I had a break down of course.
While still at this job I fall for my coworker who has a girlfriend (ugh he was beyond disgusting. I am disgusted thinking about it.) It was so depressing because we sat right next to each other and would laugh and make jokes and all that stuff. We were buddies. I could hear him call her and talk baby talk to her several times a day.
He had a local wrestling thing (don't ask) so I would go to all the matches and see his girlfriend there and hate myself. It was terrible. He also lived in my apartment complex but would refuse to give me a ride home because she would get mad. So I would see him drive right by me on the way to the bus. And one time I lent him money for lunch and he refused to pay me back until I got another coworker to make him.
Speaking of the other coworker, that would be the married guy who was infautaed with me. He would give me rides all the time even though he didn't live that close to me. He bought me food, he bought me groceries, he fixed my computer, he shoved his hand down my pants. And that's how that began. Such an ugly time in my life. To the point where I'm giving this dude blowjobs in the production room of our work. God how did I ever get there. And his wife worked with us. And his wife would flirt with and go to lunch with the coworker I liked. It was a nice little incestuous circle. My friend (who is no longer my friend because she left me drunk in Austin with no keys or wallet) asked if I was with the married guy to get revenge on the chick who was with the coworker I liked (wow long sentence) I said no because I wasn't. I was weak and pathetic and a bad person.
I finally left that job and ended all of that evilness. But her I am again. Having hooked up with a coworker who has a girlfriend and feeling sad because he spends his time macking on some other coworker who isn't me. With him moving to my neighborhood with his girlfriend. This is truly insane and unhealthy and at some point I have to make it stop.
10:50 a.m. - 2011-03-01
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