Hmmm I am so damn tired. It is hard to fall asleep and stay asleep these days.
A new month and a new mission. I must end this ridiculous obsession with my coworker once and for all. I am making it a real goal to not reach out to to him this month regarding anything not work related. Tough but it's like quitting smoking (2 cigarettes this weekend, bad!) I have to do it cold turkey.
Once Lent rolls around I want to stop drinking, I've done it before and it made me feel better. I am not Catholic or religious but it seems a good time to quit something for a while.
I really need to focus on school and work these next few months until the semester is over. So the next 8 weeks. They are going to be brutal. no time to gossip and pine away and fuck up.
I've made friends in school! I am so happy it's fun and nice. One of my new friends thought I was 24 hahah! I was like I went to class on my 30th birthday because I am so dedicated, and she was like wtf? Like not trying to butter me up, she actually was shocked. I love having new people to talk to and when my 2nd class starts next week I'll have more friends.
I had a dream I was a safe house for runaway gay teenagers. It made me feel happy. Maybe I can do that one day! I would like to be a part of the solution not the problem.
_________
Ahhh I just did the 30-day shred for the first time in like 2 weeks and it was so hard. I only did 2 thirds of it because it's late and I was exhausted. But I feel so much better having done some of it.
It's funny how people think people in the throes of an ED are thinking about or even reacting to them. We do not care how fat or thin we are. Knowing that people are laughing at us as we struggle to count calories or have panic attacks over food is delightful. Perhaps people can take time form mocking ED sufferers to punch a few bipolar people.
Ignorance is not cute. Ignorance dressed-up as wise mutterings and cruel words is pathetic.
In more fun news I got my debit card yesterday finally! Joy of joys! Now back to paying off debt and trying to be a happy little raygirl.
8:27 a.m. - 2011-03-01
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