Things are always better when I focus on myself. I went to bed super early instead of texting with Omar or talking to AL (my 44-year old friend). No FB not too much alcohol and now drugs or cigarettes. No b/p. I woke up at 8 (before my alarm, which is how I prefer it) and made myself workout. That waist trimmer thing basically sweats out all the water I am retaining in my stomach, which is perfect because that's my biggest problem besides the fat of course.
I am looking at my budget again, which is shaping up well. I can pay another chunk of my dell account off soon and still save some money.
I cleaned a bit this morning too, sweeping, vacuuming, cleaning the counters and putting the dishes in the dishwasher.
I even shaved my legs this morning! WTF?
I'm pissed I lost my debit card because I have to use my CC to buy shit and I have been trying to pay those motherfuckers off. Slowly but surely. I'm excited because paying stuff off will lower my month;y payments and improve my credit, which I desperately need.
I am basically reminding myself that I do give a shit and trying to prove to myself that these things matter and are worth it. I got into the horrible debt situation because of drugs. With the cash advances and using my paycheck for drugs instead of paying my bills. I can't go back there. I won't.
Sometimes being alive is too fucking hard.
Damn I just so tired of everything sucking and everyone being an asshole to me. I try so hard and it never seems to get better. But at the very least I guess I need to be nice to myself. No one else will.
10:45 a.m. - 2011-02-23
Recent entries:
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