I had a complete meltdown last night After drinking 3 bottles of wine from 6 PM Friday to 2 PM yesterday I went out with my 44 year old friend and I bought coke. I drank more before going out to the cluba nd kept drinking. The entire time she told me shit like Iw as making her blod pressure go up like it was my fault. She said she could have a heart attack! Who tells someone that? I just drank more and more and I lost my debti card (already ordered another one, no charges on it thank god.) We went out and I just kep drinking. I spent money on all of us to drink because I hate to drinka lone. When we finally got back to her house she said I probably would find my debit card in my wallet (which is beyond stupid she knows I went to the ATM with it after we left). I snapped and saud what do you think I'm dumb and she got pissed. I just flipped out. Yelling screaming sobbing telling her all the shit that goes on in my life that she doesn't cvare about. The cutting, the eating duisorder thje fact that Iw ant to die and drink all the time. I couldn't take her shit anymore. I am not made to sit and listen to her shit and be insulted by her. I said I listen to her shit all the time and that stupid facebook shit and now she needs to listen to me. She said I was being weak and everyone has problems and that I shouldn't be pathetic and want to die. All this shit. God I just hate my life so much/ I sobbed so much my face was swollen the next day. And then I woke up and we went back to talking about her baby daddy and how everyone sucks. I went back to being the lap dog. I hate my life so much. I am so unhappy and even when I try to tell people they won't listen.What am I going to do?
5:56 p.m. - 2011-02-20
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