143. (Dehydration strikes again)
Ended up purging twice last night. The binges were half-hearted but it felt good to purge.
I need to start doing way more yoga; my hamstrings, inner legs/pelvis and shoulders are VERY tight. I can't even bend over with my legs straight. Embarrassing.
Talked to Omar last night and coyly told him I would have rocked his world this weekend and it's too bad he was busy/ Busy? Motherfucker never even texted me back. Then he starts whining about how he can wait and doesn't need to fuck anyone else until he sees me. Like I believe that shit, please. His rude ass doesn't deserve me and pretending like it's MY fault I'm not going over there was pathetic.
It all works out because I'm not in the mood to be touched by anyone at this point. I feel gross and ugly. I think I'm tired of just sex and want intimacy too. Even if not with a "boyfriend" (how I loathe that term), but at least with someone I can talk to about my day as opposed to talking about getting fucked in the ass repeatedly. A charming topic of conversation no doubt.
Looking for jobs frantically. I need to get out of this hello-hole. I need respect and I intend to get it.
Off to work out in a bit. Tired as always.
7:50 a.m. - 2010-11-05
Recent entries:
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