I can't sleep but i need to get plenty of sleep for work.
I ate and drank too much this weekend as always. 3 bottles of wine and 5 drinks at the club. I also stole some pills form my friend. Pain/arthritis pills. I am a horrible person who cannot control herself.
I ate too much again. Gained 4 pounds some of which is water weight. Binging no purging. Just general fatness.
I look forward to going to work because I get to see my coworker. I must say it is quite adorable the way he proudly shows me his work to see if I think it's good. I always tell him it's great (it usually is actually) and try to give him good advice. In another place and time it may have worked out but as always my life is full of near misses and sadness.
Fuck buddy, it turns out, is already back in el paso and was texting me all that dirty stuff because...I don;t know why actually. I think he is trying to set things up so that I'll still fuck him in August when he gets back. Apparently he really likes fucking me in the ass and having me swallow his cum (instead of spitting which I never do.) I never saw myself as someone who is good in bed. Fuck buddy said for me to be one of his best I need to let him choke me, slap me and get called a whore and a slut by him. If that's what it takes, so be it. I want to be good at something, for someone.
11:52 p.m. - 2010-05-23
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