I keep screwing up at work. Yes it's only been 3 months since I started but I know this job is not made for me. I feel stupid every day. My co-workers enjoy ignoring me and making me feel stupid. One just walked right to my doorstep, looked at me and then when I said yes she rolled her eyes and went into my coworkers office. Like why come to my doorstep to make me look like a loser when you ignore me? I am also surrounded by chicks who whine about being fat or on a diet and weigh like 125 pounds each. EVERYONE eats smart ones or lean cuisine every day. I am broke as hell and am working so hard that all I have energy to do is cry and sleep.
I have eaten 785 cals today and it's only 2 PM. Also I plan to drink tonight as its play off time and Go Spurs Go.
I am re-reading this book called the Cardio-free Diet which I got for free at my last job. I hate cardio because it hurts my knees and doesn't seem to help much, I am going to focus on sculpting and toning as well as keeping food out of my fat fucking mouth.
One day I'll be thin. I just fear I will die first and ever reach my goal.
2:12 p.m. - 2010-04-27
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