A few cuts here and there really do make me feel better. I need a release and sadly (for now) bping is not an option. My gag reflex is shot to hell. Although I think I can work up to it again. I think I should try.
I am so tired of staring at the same number on the scale day in and day out no matter how hard I work. It seems so pointless. Trying to do it the healthy way. Trying to be good and take care of myself. All that happens is that I get used to being fat and it will never go away.
All I do is cry now. Not much difference to when I was sick but at least then I was thin.
5:24 a.m. - 2010-02-01
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