Merry Christmas! I hope everyone is having a fabulous holiday!
My day has gone well so far. I got some nice presents, more than I expected. As I have gotten older I expect less and less and am always pleasantly surprised. I am one of those people that keeps every gift she has been given. I don't regift or throw away anything, even years-old birthday and Christmas cards.
I got tons of make-up and bath stuff which I love. Some new purses, some luggage, and some clothes that I would actually wear! Tons of purple stuff. All-in-all very pleased.
Called mr. match at 12 AM CT to wish him a merry christmas. He was just leaving a bar downtown. He sounded alone but not lonely, which is good.
During our talk on Saturday he mentioned our physical differences, refering to the fact that I am "hotter" than him I guess.
Apparently, this is something he thinks about. I think about it in a hands-off, abstract kind of way, like I know society sees us as a miss-match but I don't care. My friend who met him said that it's personality that counts. Hmph, I really don't think I am out of his league. I guess years of low self-esteem has made me fairly down-to-earth,
The fact that he brought it up surprised me. I don't think I have given him any indication that I am not attracted to him or think I am too hot for him or whatever. I will only use that excuse if and when he finally tires of me.
I don't know why he feels the need to pretend to date other people. To make himself more desireable? Unless he is pretending to pretend to see other people, so that I don't get mad at him. But I wouldn't get mad unless he is having unprotected sex with them. Like, sure I like him a lot, but I am not hurting for male companionship. So if he wants to keep things casual thats cool, just let me know so I can go out with other people too. Ugh I am very confused.
He says he is unable to articulate how he feels because he is not used to having someone listen to him and care. But I am always the one calling him and initiating things and e-mailing him. At this point I am just going to let him do things at his own pace. I can't do anything more to prove to him that I like him.
In other news I have been working out and keeping the calories down. I can already see a difference. If I can get back under 160 by the New Year we will be back in business. The more I lose the less I care about him, so it works out for all of us I guess.
12:32 p.m. - 2006-12-25
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