i am constantly naseaous, i threw up last night because i had to. i felt ill. no purging, just relief. i hate throwing up at this point. i havent purged for vanity reasons in over a month. i hate my life, but i dont hate myself anymore: and that is important. my stomach is still huge and i am still unhappy with how i look. but i refuse to kill myself over this obsession. i had a cig today. i ahdnt had one since friday. i suck. i am more pissed about that than the accidental purging.
i am alone in this world, but i still make the decisions that leave me in pain.
11:03 p.m. - 2004-05-23
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