Please enjoy this email exchange between myself and a coworker.
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Me: Rosanne was telling me to become a model. I think she was drunk. She also asked me what the fuck I'm doing here with an NYU degree. All I could say is I had bills to pay and I took what I could get at the time. Now of course I am pissed I took this damn job but oh well.
Coworker: I think you're was drunk In coming to work over here with an NYU degree. that makes you a loser, hence "loser."
Yeah, you can become a model. You have the height and you don't have to worry about being a "beauty" b/c I don't think that matters much, but the height.
ok enough of you.
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The funny thing is that Rosanne had also commented on how being a "beauty" wasn't necessary so I didn�t have to worry about that, Then she told me I was over the hill because I am 23. Thanks, bitch.
Now that I realize that on top of being fat I am now ugly, I must make a change. I have always had an attractive face. But the fat has stretched it so much that I look different. It makes my eyes look smaller and my cheekbones disappear. My chin has gained a sister and my nose is fatter too some how. I am walking to and from work this week, that�s 90 minutes round trip. I am only eating 2 meals a day and I am always going to follow serving sizes. One packet of oatmeal not the 2 I usually have. Carefully measured out pasta and sauce. Lots of tea, coffee, water and Sudafed. I can't take this anymore.
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I've been trying to post that update since last Friady, the day it happened. My stupid computer at work wouldn't let update or email the update to myself ot be posted later. Finally I figured I could use the company email account and send it to myself. Since I didnt write anything inflammatory about my bosses, it should be fine.
Yesterday <1100 calories. I walked 90 minutes which burns between 300 and 400 calories. I need to start eating under 1000 again and working about 2 hours a day like I used to. I should re-read my old entires. When I first started writing I had lost so much weight. But I rememeber being so depressed and B/P-ing constantly. Thsi time has ot be different.
8:07 a.m. - 2004-04-13
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