950 cals today give or take 50 I guess. More than I would have liked but less than I had been eating for the past month or so. I plan to do more pilates in a bit and crunches and leg lifts. My arms and my ass are so sore. I love it. I really really wish I could be thin. Its hard to give up on a dream that youve never reached. One thats been sukcing at your mind for 15 years. I will succeed this time. I cant take the failure anymore and I have nothing else to strive for that seems as important. Its sad but true. Nothing else matters anymore.
10:04 p.m. - 2003-07-21
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