Been a decent day so far. I applied for uneployment which was far easier than I thought it would be. I did some pilates (so fucking hard I swear, tomorrow should be easier I hope). I got asked to do a study I signed up for that pays! Don't recall how much probably between 20 and 50 bucks (fingers crossed). I cleaned my room and I havent eaten too much so far. I applied for a job on Saturday and the guy called me back a few times and wants me to talk to his person in the city. Oh please please please let it happen! My friend is still pissed at me. He worte me an email that I have decided not to read. I am done wiht this shit. Being treated like an insignificant child, being pushed aside, made to always go to him if I ever want to hang out, never being included in any of the plans--either I do what they planned to do or I can just go home. Since I dont live with them I dont matter, they show up together and leave together. they never are apart and often ignore me in conversations too. Whats the point. I've seen this coming for a while. There is no point in me reading another angry email telling me how much I suck and how I am not a worthy friend. Fuck it I should cut my losses now and try and develop new friendships. Just need to repair the ol' self esteem first. Of course I started binging. Damn me for cursing myself. About 2300 cals all together. It was the tacos that did it. Fried pieces of heaven. I know I'm about to get my period so that explains why I am always so fucking hungry and I never get full. Grrrr. At least I worked out a bit. Tomorrow I will do better I hope.
5:02 p.m. - 2003-07-14
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