I am depressed.
Not sad.
Not upset.
No down in the dumps.
Depressed.
Crying jags that have no coherent begin or end.
Drinking and b/p sessions (well only one and it was an accident)
Fatness ever expanding.
--------------------
So I am unhappy at work. This is due to many things. Mainly my boss' extreme excitement and glee while we try to hire additional people. He complements them, envisions them in the role, says how much they can add to the company.
With me, he did nothing.
When I was hired he barely spoke to me, and after promising to follow-up, he didn't. So I did. And when he hired me he said the other girl (the horrible one who was fired) was starting Monday so could I start then. Like I was just a body to fill a seat. I deserve better. He never envisioned how much I can add to the company. He didn't even care. I had to quit (and I did have another job lined up, not a tactic) for him to see that I was an asset to the company and pay me more. He pays these people more right off the bat. With no training, because he thinks they will be great. One guy lasted two weeks and we fired him today. And he wants to do it again. It's a slap int he face. All the days he took the rest of them out to lunch and ignored us because she was an idiot and he didn't like her. So he didn't like me. I guess. Whatever. I am still behind where I should be, even though I am in charge. I think he envisions me being in charge of all of the backend team. And the HR stuff. Great. I mean yay, but I am still depressed. One girl, who I absolutely loathe, came in bragging about how she was getting paid so much and how the bossman was friends with her and she had no experience but demanded to be paid salary. He gladly did it. I couldn't even get him to go hire than $20 an hour. I remember that shit. And how I was treated like shit and I am not happy.
I am also lonely, I think. It doesn't happen often but it is almost my bday and I am sad. I will be going home though to see my friends. 33 years old, single, childless and in mountains of debt. Fuck my life.
My boss randomly comments on how "beautiful" (his words) I am. It's weird, I guess. He said he was only going to hire ugly people, and I said "oh you think we are ugly" and he said no, I think you are rather beautiful. Iw as like whatever. He claims, that instead of racism, people stare at me on the street because I am so good looking. I rolled my eyes at him and was like wtf ever.
I am fat and need to work on that. I ate so much I got sick on Monday. I puked a lot without meaning to. I will be better soon. I promise.
6:39 p.m. - 2013-10-02
Recent entries:
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Still alive - 2016-02-14
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