I've had an interesting week. Last night I went out with a my coworkers minus the bossman and the stinky guy who loves/(d) me. Free booze advertised at this bar by one of the people who works at one of the other communal working space locations. We have an inter office app thing that we use to chat about work as follow coworkers/people from other offices. One company delivers booze to people around NYC and of course they followed me online and I followed them. They bought booze to the office and I fell in love (with the free booze).
[om fucking god a motherfucking bug just crawled over my neck and chest. Fucking kill me.. I screamed and I might vomit. ]
Anyway we go to the bar and it is kind of lame. It's one free drink made with this random "precovery" drink. But we got them to give us some more a d I was making friends with one of the booze dudes. I thought he was gay but he is not. We were chatting and drinking and smoking and having fun. Things are going well. I am almost charming and we are bonding. An older Irish man falls in love with me and my "silky skin" do they not have black people in Ireland? At some point it all changes. The coworker, who is an attention whore, got drunk off of a couple drinks and whites it up. Promising trips to Jamaica and bragging/lying and being obnoxious. Let me buy a round of shots with the agreement she would buy the next. I loudly reminded her. She never did cheap bitch.
At this point I decided to be devious. I knew the guy wanted a ho and this girl loves to pretend for free shit. I had no intention of letting her do anything. As much as I don't like her, I don't let girls drunkenly fuck people. But I told each perso. I was working to hook them up. Egging each one on and sitting back. Watching as she acted a fool and took pictures. Which will never see the light of day but make me smile. He was angry when we left. He said he hadn't been laid in four months and said we could crash there. He wanted to gt us drunker and higher and was mad I wouldn't let me stay. And I would t stay as the too tall and too heavy backup lay. She laid her head in his lap and caressed him and pretended she remembered nothing. She owes him nothing but don't be coy. She wanted free shit and tried to get it. But the picks and evidence of her behavior is too much for her. So I dole out a pic or two at a time. A digital leash. To keep her tethered to respectfulness. She laughs when I get hard work assignments. To arrogant, childish and stupid to see I get the hard stuff because she is too dumb to do it.
I hate being rejected, even by those I don't like. I feel gross but also resigned. I will find someone who loves me. And I am worthy and I am flawed but I am me.
Another blow. I texted the stinky guy to join us since the whole office (the three of us!) went out. No reply. I feel quit ugly these days. I will move on.
6:29 p.m. - 2013-03-29
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