Today was such a shit day.
Left home for NYC-sucks, I always am depressed when I leave home :-(
Had a paper due at 8 ET. I wrote it on the plane and bought wifi at o'hare where I had a transfer. I didn't work. I tried using it for 15 minutes and all i could do was google shit.
I ran to my flight, it started boarding 15 minutes early so I had to wait til the end to board/
No wifi on the plane either
Get to LGA, finally post paper 3 hours late
Text my friend, complaining about my shit day. He tells me "life happens." I get EXTREMELY pissed. Oh you mean life happens like when I wait for you ate the fucking courthouse all day and talk to your mom all day? Or when you whine about breaking up with your BF and act like you will kill yourself? Or when you whine about your parents ande cry? All those times that I am there for you and nice? And that's what I get in return? Friendship is not always a good investment. It can suck you dry as I have seen time and time again. They ask for so much because I like to give. But then they ask for too much and never give anything back.
Then I took a cab to his place to get my cat and he couldn't even give me directions. The cab driver called me ignorant and said I had an annoying voice and screamed and yelled at me for various stupid reasons. So I tipped him $0.30. My friend says :how do you attract these people?" I dunno how do you attract guys that beat you?" Shut the fuck up asshole! Seriously, what a dick thing to say.
So I leave again to come home with my cat and I have no idea how to get here because the bridge is closed. We are almost here and my cat pukes in his carrier.
I get home and just cry. And cry and I won't stop til I sleep.
I told my friend I can't deal with him anymore right now. I give so much and get nothing but bullshit in return. he ruined my bday and Halloween weekend. And he is always talking about himself and his shit. I have told him I am bulimic and he barely cared. Adopted and he cared for literally 10 minutes.
He would say he was coming to visit me in TX and I;d take time off of work and he wouldn't come. I of course had to go all the way to NY to hang out. Why would anyone come to TX right? I;m not worth shit. Now he won't come out to BK to see me because it's hard. Bitch I go out to Manhattan all the fucking time to see you. The last time he came was to whine about himself. And he actually said, wow it is hard to get around here, I though you were exaggerating when you said it's take you hours to get home from my house. Yeah bitch, I just lied for no reason. Piece of shit bullshit. I am raging right now. All this time and all this effort put into being a good friend and I don't get dick back. I'm done for a long time. And after we see Britney I may be done for good.
I deserve better. I tell everyone else that but it applies to me too. I was happy when i was home because I wasn't around their shit. I barely drank and didn't do any other bad shit.
Oh I forgot my asshole "friend" my high school texted me to hang out and when I texted him back he was already out. He said to text this chick to pick me up and she ignored me. I hate both of them.
And this dude from HS that I let live with me for free when he moved to NYC now pretends he doesn't know me and ignored me on my BDay too, I invited him to hang out and he never responded. So many people I bend over backwards for. I am done.
Done.Now back to crying and realizing I will die friendless and alone.
Does it really matter though?
12:39 a.m. - 2011-11-29
Recent entries:
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