Yay it's my birthday woohoo! 31 years old/young.
I must admit I cried a bit this morning. Mainly because I feel like at this point in my life I should be doing better. I feel like my mom supports me (emotionally, financially many times) no matter what I do and has unyielding faith in me and right now I have not earned it. But it lasted 2 minutes and I realized that no one really has it figured out. My friends, coworkers, strangers in the street. No one has it figured out. I have a plan finally of what i want to do. I have had jobs this entire time and have worked hard. I have now fixed my credit when other people are struggling. I have never moved back home with my parents. I am smart and funny and I am determined to be happy.
Yes I am single, yes my health is truly fucked up, yes I am a 31 year old intern at two different places. But I am a supervising intern at both of them now (my boss intern quit my other internship so now I get an assistant.) All of this leadership experience will look awesome on my resume. And because after next semester I will only have my thesis left for the fall, I will be able to get a close to full-time job the summer and fall and my resume will help.
I am getting scholarships and I am working hard. I have decided that the next year of my life will be spent thinking I CAN do anything instead of I can't do anything. I won't say no to any opportunity and I will succeed because I am smart and a hard worker.
Plus I have continued to work out and I am seeing results again. It just keeps reminding me that I don't need an ED to lose weight, though I have slipped at times.
I always remember that eating disorders trap you at the age when you first acquired them. I was 13, so will I feel 13 for the rest of my life? Perhaps it's finally time for therapy (if I can actually find the time!)
I am having a little (and I mean little like 4 or 5 people) birthday get together. I am pissed because some "friends" of mine can't even be bothered to respond and say no. Or they go to other people's parties (and this sin't even a party!) but not mine. People they met after me or through me. One jackass moved to NYC by staying rent free in my apartment for 6 fucking weeks! And now he acts to good for me. Fuck 'em. I am more valuable to myself than they are to me so it reflects poorly on them not me. They are bad friends not me.
8:32 a.m. - 2011-10-07
Recent entries:
- - 2016-03-14
Still alive - 2016-02-14
- - 2015-11-05
- - 2015-10-02
- - 2015-09-09
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
julymalaise
usb-port
alethia
englishsucks
lisasays
moodswing
fat0free0air
cloudy-night
atwowaydream
silver4
enurta
soon
warpednormal
ecstasia
limes-sugar
hungry-hippo