At planned parenthood for my followup and was told my fibroids have gotten bigger and was asked if I want to have kids ( i guess...) If I have a husband or boyfriend (nope) and i realize fibroids make having kids/gettin pregnant very very difficult if not impossible. Yep thanks. So I probably won't ever have kids biologically but I myself am adopted so why would I not want to continue that trend anyway? I feel sad (which I believe is what she wanted. She stared at me to see if/when I would cry) and I am but when would I have had kids anyway? I am 30 and single and don't have time to be pregnant. I would love to adopt a little black kid like me who was left to rot in an orphanage or foster home. The little black kids no one wants. Like I was until my parents saved me. I figure i'll try for a year and if it doesn't work then I will adopt all my kids. If it does I will adopt one or two. Part of me wonders if i shouldn't have had the abortion because I would have my kid now. But no. Just no. And if I never have a biological child it's cool because I don't want to go through it honestly. With my body issues I might kill myself trying to lose the weight again.
9:01 a.m. - 2011-08-12
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