Two weeks left at work and 19 days til I move. I am so stressed out. I b/ped last night unfortunately. I must learn some new coping techniques. I don't smoke anymore and don't do the hard drugs. I don't know anyone here that smokes weed. So I drink or b/p and I'd like to do one less often and the other not at all.
Didnt work out this morning but might later tonight or just take the day off. I must remember this is a lifestyle change not a quick fix Bly metabolism and body have changed in the past decades so I need to learn to tolerate the new me. Plus I'm not going to lose 20 pounds in 19 days. I have really tried hard and done better but I am still a fat waste of space. If I had money I'd get lipo even if I could die on the table. The old hatred of myself is still there and always will be.
I think I will be volunteering tonight. OK also I was supposed to have an interview today over the phone and it was cancelled last night. Wait, let me back-up. I applied for a job through NYU's Career board and got an email from this guy. He asked if I was free to meet last week (over the phone) and I said yes W-F b/w 8 and 10. So he replied via email and picks a time. I never got the message for some reason and he just decided the interview was happening. I was getting ready for work and missed the call from a number I didn't recognize and didn't even listen to the message until 6 PM that day. I was like WTF!!!!!!!!!! And I emailed him and was sad and he said to call his assistant and reschedule. So I did for this morning. And they cancelled at like 5 PM my time. Left a message. So then I get an email this morning asking me to come in when I get to NYC. ARGHHHHH I swear they will cancel when I am standing outside the office haha. My ass has gotten bigger in a way a approve of. Before it was flabby and saggy. Now it is big and higher. Yes I am proud of my black booty hahaha. So it does show that my exercising is paying off. My freaking stomach muscles are harder, I just have fat over everything. I need to do a body cleanse/detox to clean out my system. The last time I did one it actually really helped.
9:36 a.m. - 2011-08-11
Recent entries:
- - 2016-03-14
Still alive - 2016-02-14
- - 2015-11-05
- - 2015-10-02
- - 2015-09-09
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
julymalaise
usb-port
alethia
englishsucks
lisasays
moodswing
fat0free0air
cloudy-night
atwowaydream
silver4
enurta
soon
warpednormal
ecstasia
limes-sugar
hungry-hippo