Now that I am eating healthier I naturally wake up after 7 hours of sleep and don't feel exhausted all day like I used to.
I'm so annoyed, I realized I am eating twice as much oatmeal as I thought I was. The box has instructions for one cup but the serving size is 1/2 a cup. Dammit. So I adjusted what I had recorded for the week and will either switch out the oatmeal, eat less of it, or try to find a low-carb version of it. I think though I will just adjust for it and buy some steel cut oats, which are supposed to be better for you.
I changed my breakdown from 40-30-30 to 45% carbs, 30% protein and 25% fat. I could not get that much protein no matter how much I tired and I could not cut my carbs that much. i am eating healthy carbs except for the processed oatmeal and the occasional protein bar. Plus I couldn't make myself eat that much fat either. I don't like fatty food right now (except chinese food and pizza) so until I get my cravings back, this will be my breakdown. I aim for under 200 grams of carbs a day, which is huge. I can't believe Atkins people eat 20 grams. That's less than a bowl of Kashi or oatmeal! I would die haha. Hmm i just checked and steel cut oats have the same nutritional breakdown as the oatmeal I eat now. One fewer carb maybe. I may skip buying them then.
I chedked my stats and I swear I am actually eating more now than I used too and more carbs. But I am not eating processed crap and I'm not hungry all day. See the numbers don't tell the true story. 100 calories of chips and 100 calories of oatmeal are NOT the same. I needed to figure that out! I am letting myself have Subway today. A veggie delite with olive oil and cheese (planned out in advance.
I definitely see a difference in my stomach and legs. I am also stronger and healthier I believe. I hardly smoke at all. Like one cigarette a week maybe. I used to smoke half a pack a day in NYC (smoking since age 15, ugh). Then I was smoking 4-5 cigarettes a day here. Now hardly any. My endurance is slowly improving.
I got paid today and I've already budgeted my paycheck. New clothes, yay!!
I have been feeling happier recently. I attribute that to a few things:
1) bettering my diet. I think processed foods and the constant hunger totally threw my body and mind out of whack.
2) Sleeping better. Lack of sleep always made me depressed
3) Not seeing my terrible friends. I didn't realize how much I disliked them until they were gone and I was happier. Plus I don't eat as much or drink as much or do drugs or lose sleep. I get to be home or do what i want and be happy. I also have saved money and am not stressed out.
4) Looking forward to NYC. Looking forward to something always helps me.
5) Seeing my coworkers finally get some of the shit they deserve. Finally, ugh I hate work but whatever I am cool and calm.
6) The weather. Though it is hot, the sunshine makes me happier.
Does this all mean that I am cured and not depressed anymore and la di da? Of course not. I am fucked up in the head and still think about b/ping some days (not nearly as much). I think about other things too but for now, I am doing OK.
6:47 a.m. - 2011-06-15
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