I purged three times and I'm done for the month. I'm so excited to speak to my advisor tomorrow. And I'll work out in the morning too. I've been working hard all week. It will pay off.
Smoked two cigarettes today too. So weak. I should be able to overcome 15 years of smoking and 17 years of disordered eating all by myself cold turkey right? I am too hard on myself I know it. But I need to be perfect. That's what thing I saw and understood in Black Swan. The importance of perfection. I know the constant striving for it will kill me but to be the best might mean it was worth it.
10:21 p.m. - 2011-05-19
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