Finally, I have time to update!
I feel so much better than I did a week ago. I have cut out the negative, draining people in my life, such as my former "best friend", my mom (only for now) and other negative people. I can't keep giving all I have while others keep taking. i feel selfish, it's true. But better selfish than dead. At the end of every day I'd feel empty and have no time to do my homeowrk or exercise or breathe. I am still depressed of course. but I can deal with that when I don't have to be responsible for other people's happiness. The guilt they would give me when i was tired or had homework or needed to work. So many times I had to stay up late trying to scramble to finish my work or missed work because they wanted to go out or I needed to hear them bitch about shit. I was always left to take the bus home, hungover and dirty.
In other news, I have been getting tons of homework done now that I'm free to do so.
I will start working out again tomorrow, yay! Maybe even the gym, though I hate it.
Still not sleeping great but since I am staying in all weekend I will catch up this time.
NYC is becoming more of a reality each day. I need to buy a shredder this weekend so I can get rid of all this paper! Then pack up the clothes I don't want to be given away. And sort through my massive book collection for the real keepers (like "Smashed" is not coming, that book is awful.) This will make packing easier as the summer months come. Just a little bit every week. The main focus of this weekend is homework for sure.
8:46 a.m. - 2011-04-22
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