I'm tired of being punished for suceeding and wanting something better. I'm alone, crying. I was invited to go to "fiesta" tonight. I texted back yesterday to see when everyone was going. They said they'd tell me. I waited all day. called my "best friend" twice. She finally answers and blabs about herself and then says she is leaving to go to fiesta so she'll call me when they are done. I say "hey I wanted to go i was invited." nothing. silence and dismissal. I send a sad, lonely text and am told to take a cab out there. i said I WOULD have. I don't want people takin m everywhere. But it's far too late. all the cabs are engaged because it's a busy time of year.
My other "best friend" who also invited me out, spent an hour talking about his stupid work shit and ten claimed he wasn't going out. All they do is lie and piss me off. They are mad that I am leaving. Whenever I talk about it they get quiet and change the subject and an edge creeps into their voices.
Why must I be punished? The next 4 months will be hell. I am alone and I will remain alone until I leave.
I am tired of being exhausted and crying alone.
I have to remember no one cares about me except for me. Everyone else cares about how I listen to them bitch and moan about life. I am a walking, talking sympathy ear. Nothing more.
9:29 p.m. - 2011-04-09
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