Hmm watched "my strange addiction" last night and they showed this super skinny chick who would take up to 150-250 laxatives a day. I was intrigued and horrified. But it did inspire me to take some laxatives too. Not something I enjoy doing. I used to take them every day. At this point I want to get through the day without binging purging or taking more pills.
The chick also wore tons of stomach trimmers. Her stomach was freaking concave. I want one too. I think I'll buy one. They are only $15 and there is one with good reviews on Amazon. I will decide later this week. Can't impulse shop anymore.
I dreamt of weddings all night. Not my own but ones I was attending. I had weird dreams. I was worried about my potassium all night. Purging and laxatives are bad for your heart. I also got bitten by some kind of fire ant. I am pissed.
I think I will buy the stomach trimmer. It may cost money but my main concern has always been my stomach. So I purge and get depressed. Even if the loss is just cosmetic (it sounds like it is just water weight) I will feel better about myself and will hopefully stop hurting myself.
I am fucking tired.
8:07 a.m. - 2011-02-17
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