Totally awesome. Went to the gyno and the doctor straight up told me if I don't stop smoking I will have a stroke and die. Awesome! I know I need to stop smoking and I actually don't like smoking due to it ruining my skin. But now I'm depressed. I'm going to die no matter what even one cigarette will kill me. Fabulous. Considering I've been smoking the past year and the doctor last year even said the pills I'm on are less dangerous for smokers. i guess being 29 is young and fabulous but 30 is old and on death's door. I fucking hate this shit. My eggs are drying up, I'm old and uninteresting. Eh whatever. Everyone gets old or dies and these bitches who poke fun these days will be where I am one day.
In other news I am chugging coffee like crazy trying to stay awake and warm and not eat. Did my Pilates this morning and walked a good 15-20 minutes to and from the bus so I feel pretty good. But I've already had 600 calories today including coffee creamer, etc. DAMMIT! Why am I such a failure at everything?
I have $65 to last me until the 31st. Enough for some wine. Don't need cigarettes anymore so it's cool I guess.
10:40 a.m. - 2011-01-19
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