Finally read my horoscope for the month and it very pointedly referred back to June 26, 2010, as a date that would be important and whatever situation came up then would be reconciled.
I flipped through my old diaries and found that I still had yet to sleep with my coworker and we were still friends (I miss his friendship greatly. But obviously it was because he wanted to fuck me. Mission completed and I mean shit now), Omar was in the DR and I was somewhat sad, I started doing coke again after 6.5 months and I was terrible depressed. Really? Do I want to go back there again? No. I've moved forward.
Coworker is indifferent to me and I am slowly but steadily caring less about him. Omar is pretty much nothing to me but a penis. I'm cutting back on all drugs but weed because I'm poor and I don't hate myself nearly as much.
I was 158 then. I'm 144 now and that's while I'm bloated. I'm moving on with my life and looking forward to the future. I don't want to feel that low ever again.
But it always happens with me. Whether it's drugs or drinking or purging. I always fall back into my same sad, pathetic habits. I will always keep fighting though.
8:45 p.m. - 2011-01-07
Recent entries:
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