Fucking 147 today because my fat fucking ass can't stop shoving food in my mouth. I am not going to smoke weed for the next 3 weeks because I am pissed at my dealer, it's making me fat, I am broke, and I have built up a huge tolerance.
I need to lose 16 pounds by October 7 (my 30th birthday). That would put me at 131 my lowest weight since I hit puberty basically. I may be getting older but at least I am getting smaller.
I haver no friends, I hate my job, I am single and ugly. At least I can try and do well in school and be thinner.
I am doing this detox system I bought at wal-mart. It is basically laxatives, fiber and milk thistle pills. It was only like $15 though.
I cry 5-7 times a day. No matter if I am at work or home. I don't feel sad at school though. I guess learning is my one true love.
I need to start working out again. i want to look as good as I can for my bday. Too bad I am a piece of trash but at least I can be a slightly less fat piece of trash.
It's funny how I hate myself more than ever but I feel less depressed because I have finally accepted that I will always be worthless and that no one really cares about me. Accepting the truth is half the battle.
11:28 p.m. - 2010-09-11
Recent entries:
- - 2016-03-14
Still alive - 2016-02-14
- - 2015-11-05
- - 2015-10-02
- - 2015-09-09
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
julymalaise
usb-port
alethia
englishsucks
lisasays
moodswing
fat0free0air
cloudy-night
atwowaydream
silver4
enurta
soon
warpednormal
ecstasia
limes-sugar
hungry-hippo