I b/ped 5 days in a row multiple times a day after not doing so for several weeks. I of course gained 8 pounds and hate myself more than ever. I realized that me on a "diet" is what I should be eating normally. I am that much of a pig that I can't even restrict right. I miss my days of restricting and being thin. Even though I blacked out whenever I stood up and threw up blood every day. If I can't be thin is it really much of a life worth living? I know if I was thin i would not be single and lonely like I am. Fat and covered in scars. What man would ever want me? I don't even want myself.
8:42 p.m. - 2010-04-12
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