Soo HS guy is still sniffing around for more sex but nothing beyond that of course. God forbid he have to be seen in public with me. I feel so gross. Even though he has said nothing but nice things about and to me all I can think about is if I were thinner and prettier he'd actually want to date me.
I started my workout routine again after taking few days off to recover from my weekend drinking. I have gained weight of course but not too much. I think I'm going to ditch these diet pills cause they make my chest hurt and it's hard to breathe sometimes. I wonder if this is the way I was meant to die. In my endless pursuit of perfection.
My stomach makes me tear up every time I look at it. How did I get this gross? Ugh. I am pissed I didn't work out sooner I shouldn't have drank so much and acted like I wasn't a 500 pound monster.
This chick in my office got flowers and I almost cried. I am so tired of being alone. I fucking hate Valentine's Day except for the candy.
In totally unrelated non-crazy news i finally applied for grad school. I hope I get in! I need another distraction.
12:38 p.m. - 2010-02-10
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