So K e-mailed me yesterday, somewhat out of the blue. I had contacted him when I was in Austin for work since he lives there. No response, which was expected. Until now. See below:
________
It is good to have some distance and perspective.
I would sit and think of you from time to time and remember the good events as well as, admittedly, thinking of your toned smooth body.
I am hopeful you have taken to your goal of searching for that which you said you needed. How are the plans going? I have a rather artsy photo of you thinking about it on the beach to remind me.
I am still in school still working and doing 14 credit hours of 11 week summer courses, and rather heavily in debt. I have a real queen size bed now though. It is in my "ritual room". Still trying to go to the gym and recently cutting down and the partying.
Do I love you? Of course I do, but it is now a love intermingled with anger as well. I think you have somewhat the same understanding. I guess you and your best friend were correct.
So what did you want to see me about?
________
So I don't know how I feel but I responded anyway:
______________________
show details 9:18 AM (4 hours ago) Reply
I am glad that you are doing well and that you e-mailed me. I have missed you a lot but it's been good for me to have to deal with myself head on. It's been a roller coaster the last few weeks but things are much improved right now.
I went to New Orleans last weekend and it was nice to get out of my comfort zone and be able to relax. It made me think of our trip to San Francisco which was one of the best times I've had.
I understand your anger and I feel it myself sometimes but mostly I am not angry and have mainly positive thoughts right now. I think the time and space has been very good for me.I have a lot of pain I have to let go of and that's what I have been trying to do.
I will just wait for your anger to subside; I am very patient.
- Show quoted text -
______________________________
I am very torn. We have been through a lot in a short amount of time but it seems like I am happier without him around. i do feel that my lack of happiness has to do with me internally and not any other person at the moment.
1:12 p.m. - 2008-06-23
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