SO number 3 for today.
I called, e-mailed and texted mr. match. No response on any front. I told him that I hope "his" grandfather is doing ok. I feel bad. I don't know like sad and mad and kind of whatever all at the same time.
Like why the fuck does he blow me off sometimes but will drive 100s of miles away for his ex's grandpa. I know he says he was really good to him. But dammit, I don't know.
Annnd I should not care because I don't really like him. I am not attracted to him anymore. Like I wasn't, then I was, and now I am not again. I don't want to be tied down to him, but I don't want to look anymore. I should just try to make it work, but maybe he doesn't want that anymore?
I am afraid this will bring him back to hsi ex. Tragedy breeding love or some shit. Close quarters and a lifetime of memories. I feel sad. I hate feeling rejected.
This has been a very long day.
I wish I still smoked weed. Then today would have been awesome. And I am off tomorrow. More time to obsess and feel fat and shitty.
8:56 p.m. - 2007-02-18
Recent entries:
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