Last night mr. match and I went grocery shopping and he cooked dinner. At some point he called me a liar (jokingly he says) but it truly upset me. I didn't talk to him for a while and asked him to take me home. He apologized and I explained that I do not take kindly to being called a liar.
I didn't tell him why but it is due to the time my father tried sat on my chest and choked me while my mother sat upstairs doing nothing. I beat him with my fists until he finally stopped. I told her about it and she didn't believe me. Years later I asked her why and she said "because he said he didn't do it." The only time she ever got mad at him was when he cheated on her. When she founf out, THEN she left, not when he tried to kill their child.
I have been thinking about that moment a lot lately. Before the ED before the continuous thoughts of death. Before a lot of things. I hate being so damaged.
But mr. match was so sweet. He held me and said he was sorry and that I am a good person and that one day I will tell him why it upset me so much. One day I will it's true.
He also made it a point to say that he is old fashioned and has no problem taking someone out and paying for their meals. That is good to know because that was a major bone of contention with me.
He also told me about the chick he dated before I came into the picture. She was all in love with him and wanted him to meet her kid and all of that. He dumped her for me.
He told me about some of his friends who turned out to be people he met on match and craigslist. one of them is a big whore who blew some guy who has a girlfriend in her shower while mr. match slept on the couch in the living room. Nasty slut. I seriosuly want to kick her ass. She better stay away from him or she will be in a world of pain.
9:14 a.m. - 2007-01-05
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