145. I have failed once again, big fucking shock. I got drunk on Wednesday and buzzed yesterday and ate tacos and potatos and other disgusting things. I just had one taco right now and I'm not eating for the rest fo the day, period. I guess I'm moving my goal to next Friday. I hate myself immensely right now, but what's new about that?
I called the gayish boy, R and he never called back. I might have seen him yesterday if I had gone to D's boyfriend's first day at work (he's a bartender now), but we didnt go and I;m glad. This si why I never try because any time I do I get fucked. I need to concentrate on myself.
I had a drunken convo wiht my mom when I told her how upset I was that when my dad flipped and started choking me after a fight she didnt believe me at all. She said thats not the kind of thing he would do as far as she was concerned. Yeah like hes not the kind of guy to cheat on you for over 10 years? This is why you are alone right now mother. I also told her about the babysitter who would turn the lock around and leave us locked in the bedroom for hours. That was just for shcok value, to show that anything can happen when you trust everyone else over your own damn kids. I don't feel like talking to her for a very long time.
Oh I almost forgot, while I was talking to D, my "best friend" about how pissed I was about R she responded by asking if there were any beers left. Most likely because she bought them for her precious ex con boyfriend. I'm SOOOO sorry to distract you from obsessing over your loser boyfriend all day with my petty concerns. It will never happen again. When the fuck is this jackass moving out of my house?
9:04 a.m. - 2004-09-24
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